I finally am – I am finally catching up!! Guess what? I did my tax – and I got all the costings for my grant sorted and recorded ready for my acquittal. I finished off two commission works, got my workshop organised and reduced my to-do list down to about five items. Now I am a little exhausted and ready for a good lie down after this full on week but the amount of pressure that is off me after getting those jobs (big and small) done is amazing.
I keep thinking about pressure and how it makes me feel. It doesn’t matter that I know it is in my own head – it doesn’t matter that I know a certain about of pressure is what actually makes me get up and get going. I just hate it – I hate the feeling of expectation and that I am going to disappoint myself and everyone else.
This year I have ended up doing some big artworks that all seem to have emotions at their base…remembering and letting go, stocktaking the past to look to the future, and fear. I keep thinking about pressure and how I would represent this in a linoprint. The best I can come up with is a bunch of balloons. That doesn’t really make sense to me at all – how can balloons represent pressure? But that sound that they make when they are squeezed? And the point of no return…the POP. Yep – that is how I feel.
Perhaps if I made my linoprint balloons real enough I could just float away on them instead of dealing with the pressure? Or…perhaps like my other artworks this year the thinking, drawing, making and creating will give me a space to think through why I react to things the way I do and whether I can change that. Here’s hoping!!
The Regional Arts Fund is an Australian Government initiative supporting the arts in regional and remote Australia, administered in Western Australia by Country Arts WA. Stepping Up is auspiced by HARTZ (Hedland Arts Council) Inc.